Welcome to The Nerd Hub and our obsession for all things WWE. This week, we get so fed up that we tell Vince McMahon how to book Money in the Bank. So, sit back. Relax. Peer into our crystal ball. Enjoy the show we’d put on for you. It might wind up being better than what you see Sunday at the XL Center in Hartford.

MANDATORY CRUISERWEIGHT KICKOFF

Ariya Daivari deserves a spotlight. His heel work continues to build heat week after week. So, this championship shot against Tony Nese comes probably well after it was earned. However, Nese will retain the the Cruiserweight Championship at the Money in the Bank Kickoff Show.

My fearless prediction? These two guys will put on one of the best matches of the card. Unfortunately, the match will likely draw the least amount of viewers. Please, check out 205 Live if you’re a WWE Network subscriber. The show delivers quality wrestling every week.

 

FEAR THE BEARDS

SmackDown Tag Champs Daniel Bryan and Rowan will retain on the Money in the Bank Kickoff Show. You can argue WWE booking makes no sense nowadays. However, putting the SmackDown belts on The Usos after moving them to RAW defies even WWE’s booking logic.

Besides, Bryan and Rowan should keep the belts. The Planet’s Champion returned just in time to save the Blue Brand from a laughable tag division. Sure, Jeff Hardy’s injury falls out of the realm of things WWE could predict. Yet, leaving the cupboard so bare on SmackDown beyond the Hardy Boyz rests solely with WWE. They screwed up the Superstar Shake-Up so bad they had to use the “Wild Card” rule as an immediate bailout plan.

These four guys deserve better than the Kickoff Show and will put on an amazing match. Unless you’re glued to the Game of Thrones series finale, check this one out.

REIGNS TUNES UP ELIAS

Complain about Roman Reigns all you want. However, his matches usually carry some weight on a pay-per-view card. Not this time, though. Reigns wins at Money in the Bank. No doubt about it.

WWE remains tone def to fans on the Reigns front. They essentially made him the alpha star on both RAW and SmackDown with the “Wild Card” rule. Soon, the goodwill for Reigns over his cancer battle will turn into boos if the uber-push continues.

Nonetheless, WWE needs Reigns ready to get back into the main event scene. Meanwhile, Elias seems like little more than a comedic music man at this point. Anything less than a clean win for Reigns would mean Shane McMahon or other heels got involved.

MIZ RAGES IN THE CAGE

Two things need to happen with this feud at Money in the Bank. First, Miz needs to get revenge for Miz Dad. Second, this rivalry needs to end.

The A-Lister beat “The Best in the World” all around MetLife Stadium at WrestleMania. However, Shane McMahon got the win when he landed on top of Miz on the Superplex off the lighting rig. Furthermore, he suckerpunched Miz’s Dad, George, and broke his rib in the process.

This time, The Miz comes out on top. Like Reigns, the A-Lister needs momentum to propel him back to the main event scene. He gets there with a brutal grudge match victory over McMahon in the steel cage this Sunday.

SAMOA JOE TORTURES MYSTERIO

Money in the Bank will feature the third installment of Samoa Joe against Rey Mysterio. Here’s hoping the third time’s a charm. Rey’s entrance at WrestleMania lasted longer than his defeat to the United States Champ. Then, Mysterio won a non-title match on RAW because it’s WWE and 50-50 booking happens.

Joe needs more time with the belt to establish himself. He should win, using champion’s advantage to do so. Joe threatened to teach Rey’s son, Dominic, a lesson in being a man. Let him do just that.

We say Joe puts Dominic in the Coquina Clutch. As a result, Rey flips out, attacks Joe with a chair and loses by disqualification. This keeps the feud alive and allows WWE to possibly put the belt on Mysterio down the road.

BAYLEY BUDDIES UP WITH THE BRIEFCASE

The Hugger will scale one of her Bayley Buddies all the way to the briefcase on Sunday. Bayley seems more deserving than everyone else at getting a shot at the elite of the women’s division. You may not love her gimmick. However, she can keep up with anyone in the ring. You can’t say that about everyone involved in this match.

The Money in the Bank women’s ladder match features an odd field with few great candidates. The pool got more shallow on Thursday when WWE announced Alexa Bliss could not get medical clearance to compete. So, you’ve got the former champs who didn’t dazzle during their title reigns – Bayley, Naomi, Natalya and Carmella – on one end. Then, you’ve got the not ready to be champs yet group – Dana Brooke, Ember Moon, Nikki Cross and Mandy Rose – on the other.

Sure, arguments exist for Moon and Rose. Yet, Becky Lynch getting booked to lose to either one of them sounds implausible. None of the SmackDown women’s division heels deserve the title more than Charlotte Flair. As a result, Flair likely becomes the heel to dethrone Lynch one day. Therefore, Bayley can swoop in with the briefcase and save us from The Queen’s ninth reign of terror.

THE YEAR OF TRANQUILO BEGINS

My gut reaction after SmackDown Live led me to think Sami Zayn would get the briefcase Sunday. However, I now think Braun Strowman takes out Zayn. The Monster Among Men may even lay waste to Drew McIntyre and Baron Corbin as well. In addition, Randy Orton absolutely should not win the Money in the Bank men’s ladder match. He’s a 13-time world champion and a 2013 briefcase winner. So, he’s the last guy that needs a gimmick to get a title match.

Therefore, the process of elimination leaves us with Ali, Andrade, Ricochet and Intercontinental Champion Finn Balor. Being a champion doesn’t disqualify you from winning Money in the Bank, but it should. Furthermore, both the Universal Champ Seth Rollins and WWE Champ Kofi Kingston are babyfaces. So, booking a babyface midcard champ to face a babyface main event champ leads us to Craptown. The math fails to add up for Balor.

Meanwhile, Ali and Ricochet will fill up the highlight reel for the WWE Network vault in this match. However, WWE only rarely hands out title chances to smaller guys. I don’t think the booking gods fully invest in either guy just months into their run on the main roster.

That leaves El Idolo. Backstage rumors abound that a big push seems imminent for Andrade. He’s scored two victories over Balor in the past month. He and McIntyre represent the best choices. We’ll go with Andrade.

THE MAN HANDLES THE LADY

Lacey Evans will emerge as a multi-time champion within the WWE some day. However, her first reign will not come at the expense of Becky 2 Belts. WWE spent too much time building Becky Lynch into a dominant force. So, it would defy belief that Evans would knock her off in her first pay-per-view singles match. Therefore, the champ champ will win the RAW Women’s Championship match.

Don’t get me wrong. The Lady of WWE jumped to the head of her NXT callup class with her performance over the past month. She’s got the looks, polish on the mic and confidence to become a huge star. She may even get her first reign before 2019 concludes. Money in the Bank seems a little too fast, though.

As for The Man, she’ll still feel the Lady’s wrath. We think Evans will lay a post-match beatdown on Lynch. As a result, Becky 2 Belts will enter her eighth pay-per-view showdown with Charlotte Flair over the past year more vulnerable.

BECKY BOWS DOWN TO THE QUEEN

Vince goes to default mode here and puts the belt on Charlotte Flair again.

Let’s face it. Plenty of fans already jumped off the Becky bandwagon before she won both belts. Now, many blame her for everything from sluggish ratings to holding the entire women’s division back. You know. The same criticism heaped on Flair for the past six years.

However, Flair beginning her ninth title reign solves a few problems. First, Lynch will inevitably get overexposed with a prolonged reign over both brands. After all, there’s only so much ground to cover in promos and brawls. Sure, WWE got a ton of mileage out of both over the past month. Yet, people will inevitably clamor for more actual title defenses on TV. Preferably, ones that avoid the squash match variety. Second, Bayley and Charlotte don’t have much history in the ring. We recently got a No. 1 contender match out of them.

Therefore, we lay the groundwork here with our booking for heel Charlotte to go at ultimate babyface Bayley. In addition, WWE could even throw a Bayley cash in at Money in the Bank at us if they want a swerve.

THE PRIZEFIGHTER CAPTURES HIS PRIZE

SmackDown Live needs a bad guy champion to pit against Roman Reigns. The Big Dog will get a title shot soon. You know it. I know it. Therefore, Kevin Owens will become that bad guy at Money in the Bank. He will put an end to Kofi Kingston’s Cinderella run as WWE Champion.

Read the room on this one. Big E looms as more of a factor on Twitter than in the ring with his current injury. Kofi’s other New Day running buddy, Xavier Woods, also has a storyline injury. The “B-plus player” storyline actually rang true a bit for Kofi without his charismatic brethren.

Meanwhile, charisma shoots out of Owens’ pores. With the possible exception of Bray Wyatt, no Superstar made more of his screen time on TV over the past month than KO. He dazzled as “Big O” – the babyface honorary New Day member. Then, he lit the fuse for the most explosive feud heading into Money in the Bank with his heel turn.

Owens is back, bay-bay.

REVENGE OF THE BEAST

The Universal Championship match will provide one of the big swerves of the night. Brock Lesnar will take Seth Rollins to Suplex City. He may even book a trip for AJ Styles as well.

Regardless, The Beast Incarnate will make his presence felt ahead of WWE’s Super Showdown in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. We’re booking Lesnar to interfere before this match ends to give Rollins a win by disqualification.

Much of the WWE Universe thought this Rollins-Styles match came too fast. Therefore, let’s book this one like it’s not really the instant classic everyone wanted when Styles changed brands. We’ll make this the appetizer for that classic down the road.

Meanwhile, WWE will reintroduce its biggest baddie in a big way. In fact, some rumors online threaten fans with Lesnar becoming a two-brand champion ahead of SmackDown’s move to the Fox network this October.

To that, we’d have one thing to say.

Who booked this crap?

 

RELATED: Laying the Smack Down: Kofi Snapped Edition

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